And Black Is So Slimming

While I'm at it, I might as well offend the only Muslim in Bridgetown. Sorry H***** !

Watch out Jews, Buddhists, Sikhs et al.

Hot Off The Press..............Not

It appears neither the Donnybrook-Bridgetown Mail nor the Manjimup-Bridgetown Times thought my Xmas letter 'newsworthy'. A plague on those poxy, pithy publications and their jingoistic jesus-luvvin' journos!

A.T.Heist

Merry Christmas: Wise words from the Hitch

I never cease to be amazed by how little the Bible-believing Protestants, who constitute most of the soldiery in the Christmas wars, know about their own tradition. Under the rule of the Puritan Revolution in England, the celebration of Christmas was banned outright. This was for three reasons: The December fiesta was actually the honoring of paganism in disguise, and a descendant of the old rites of the winter solstice. Then, it was also a manifestation of popery and superstition (the "Christ-Mass"). Finally, it was an excuse for the riff-raff to get drunk and disorderly. Only the last part seems to have survived.

None of the four gospels gives any notion of what time of year the supposed Nativity occurred. Only two gospels mention the virginity of Mary, and only one has any mention of a "manger." Wise men and shepherds are likewise very unevenly distributed throughout the discrepant accounts. So that the placement of a crèche surrounded by a motley crew of humans and animals has no more scriptural warrant than does "The Life of Brian." Moreover, the erection of this exhibit near the turn of the year is actually a placation of the old Norse gods of the winter solstice.

I don't mind if Christians honor the moment by displaying, and singing about, reindeer (a hard species to find in the greater Jerusalem/Bethlehem area). Same for the pine trees that also don't grow in Palestine. I wish everybody joy of it.


Christopher Hitchens

For some, at this time of year, it’s the nativity scene, the three wise men, gold, mir and frankincense. For others it’s decorating fir trees, yule tide logs, the holly and the ivy. But for us the holy grail is the holy grate. Some say it represents Moses shielding the burning bush, others think it is named after the Breton fire god Fior Gaard. What we know is that it is sacrosanct. Hail the Blessed Guard of Fire.

A.T.Heist

Letter to the Donnybrook-Bridgetown Mail

Dear Editor,

This year, as in previous years, I'm going to have myself a "very, merry christmas" without acknowledging the 'Jesus in a manger', 'three wise men' scam. Coming originally from the pagan Scandinavian winter celebration, the concept of yule tide logs, fir trees and even the myth of St Nicholas is enough for me (albeit a bit detached from an Australian summer).

But, I hear you 'faithful' decree, it's CHRISTmas !

I celebrate every Thursday without acknowledging the Norse god Thor, Friday without the goddess Friya and January without venerating the Roman god Janus.

Just because Christians jumped on the pagan bandwagon yet again it doesn't mean us free thinkers can't indulge (as the holiday, you must admit, has been usurped by commerce) in 'good will to all men'. In fact humanists practice it 365 days a year.

Merry Xmas

A.T. Heist